He said he’d do it. Should you trust him?
Sure he is a nice person, go ahead and trust him and then see what happens….

David’s boss, Jane approached him one morning asking if he’d be able to help him out with a major client presentation due in two weeks. David agreed, so they made a lunch appointment to go over the details, but David called to cancel at the last minute, as he had double booked.
Jane replied “Why don’t we just work this out over the phone”.
“That’s fine, if that’s what you’d like to do” said David obligingly.
David agreed to pull all the information from other departments together and turn them into a document with tables for a Jane to present to their clients.
The phone call took a while, and David missed his other appointment.

A week later Jane called David and asked if he’d called Accounts to get their data for the presentation.
“Um, yes, well, I think I’ll be talking with them about that today or tomorrow” replied David.

On the day of the client presentation, Jane was all ready to go. This was a big moment for her. David was meant to meet her in ten minutes at 1pm with the completed presentation. At 1.10 she began to wonder if she was meant to meet at his office instead.

When she got to David’s office, she found him hunched over the computer typing away. “Hi David what are you doing? We are supposed to meet 10 minutes ago. Don’t tell me we have some last minute changes to be made?”

David looked up. “Oh, Jane. Hi. I’m sorry. I forgot the time. No last minute changes. This is something I am working on for Rebecca in marketing. She is short a person today and asked me if I could help out. He needs this real soon; can we wait a few more minutes?”

“Rebecca in Marketing!? A few minutes!? David we need to get going or we are going to be late. Where is the proposal?”

David rotated his chair to desk. It was an inch thick in papers. He began to shuffle through papers. “Here is part of it, and here’s another”. One by one he pulled out papers, some quite crumpled.

Jane’s jaw dropped as she looked at them. “David, this looks like a rough draft. It’s not even in the same font. Where are all the tables?”

“Oh Jane, I’m so sorry. I didn’t have a chance to do them, and with Mary’s department undergoing reorganisation and John’s was struggling with his project, well you know how it is I didn’t have the heart to put pressure on them.

Suddenly Jane felt sick. They were supposed to leave fifteen minutes ago. They weren’t ready and there was no way they would be.

By agreeing to coordinate the proposal, David had made a promise that he knew would be hard to keep. His desire to get along with other staff and to please Jane overwhelmed any considerations of what the task would actually involve.

Sadly, all the trust in the world won’t make for good intentions and poor follow through.

David is a classic “Yes” person.
In an effort to please people and avoid confrontation, Yes People say “yes.” They say “yes” without thinking things through. They react to the latest demands on their time by forgetting prior commitments, and overcommit until they have no time for themselves. Then they become resentful.

They are driven by a desire to fit in and get along with others. With Yes people it is fairly easy to get the appearance of a decision.

Yes people easily overcommit in order to please.

They hope that if will all work our wonderfully. When it doesn’t, they genuinely feel terrible about it. Yet they don’t feel responsible for not following through because there is always some circumstance beyond their control that has caused the trouble.

Sometimes when you are visibly upset with them, they maintain a pleasant appearance on the outside while slowly simmering in silent hostility.

Your goal is to get commitments you can count on. This first starts by making it safe for them to be honest, then teaching them task management strategies and strengthening the relationship.

Action plan

Here is an action plan based on the “Lens of Understanding” by Dr Rink Brinkman and Dr Rick Kirshner.

1.    Make it safe for them to be honest
Make the conversation comfortable enough that any anger or fear they may have can be discussed calmly

2.    Talk honestly
Yes people may be angry or resentful about something or believe in their excuses, whether justified or not. Encourage them to talk about them and hear them out. Acknowledge them for their honesty.

3.    Help them learn to plan
“David, if we could go back three weeks in time to that original meeting what would you do differently?”

4.    Ensure Commitment
Once you have asked “What will you do differently, the next time you’ve made a promise to me and are unable to carry it out?”, look them in the eye and either ask for the word of honor, summarize the commitments, write it down, or get them to describe the negative consequences.

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